Songs formed in the late 1990s and brought forward decades later as memory, music, and proof of creative life.
I started playing guitar when I was in Grade 6.
The songs in this album began taking shape in the late 1990s, when I was in high school and university. It was a time when I could finally afford to buy my own music, a computer, and some home recording equipment. For the first time, I had a way to record the music I had been writing and playing.
Back then, I hoped that one day I would return to these songs. I imagined developing them further, refining them, making them better, and finding a way to share them more widely. But life moved on. I grew older, other interests and responsibilities took over, and some creative work waited quietly for its next moment.
Now, a couple of decades later, I am bringing these songs out for a different purpose. They remain imperfect, but they are still part of a real time in my life.
They are recordings from a younger version of myself, and they are also a way to show how music, songs, and creations of the mind can be inscribed on the blockchain: timestamped, preserved, made accessible, and shared with people today and in the future, long after the moment of their creation has passed.
These songs carry thoughts, ideas, experiences, and inspirations from a particular period of my life. They are personal, direct, and honest. They came from a time when I was still trying to understand love, sadness, longing, faith, uncertainty, and where my life was supposed to go.
Maybe by demonstrating how this can be done, a new generation of creative individuals, with their own voices and talents, can use paths to earn from their music that were much harder to access when I was growing up.
And for those who, like me, once made recordings that stayed private or waited for the right way to be shared, perhaps now is the time to share them too. Because they took time, feeling, and imagination to create.
At the heart of it, you are leaving something behind that was once part of you. Proof that you existed. That you thought about things. That you felt things. That you tried to capture them and express them through songs. And now, you leave them behind for others to hear.
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Loretta, in light of my truth
Here I stand alone to try and explain
I'll say the words in a way that is just and fair, controlled and right by you
And I'm sorry I've held on for too long
And I'm sorry I've held on for too long
Was there something wrong in believing in something that brought me peace in my mind
Hopeful dreams through an otherwise obscure life
Yeah, I've held my right to believe it
The days have gone by when I needed it
When I hoped that this bird won't fly away
And love, once I find it, may it always be there to stay
May it never leave me
But I guess it was not meant to be
Loretta, I've prayed for the day when you wake up one morning and you know there was love here for you
I ask you now, how have you fared? What have you done?
Can you still flash that smile that froze me once before?
Once I wanted more until comes the day when you just hang it by the door
And I hope that your life won't be this way
And love, once you find it, may it always be there to stay
And may it never leave you
But then again, that's up to you
May it never leave you
But then again, that's up to you
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Close your eyes
Think of mine
Do you still think they love you?
Baby don't say it's another lie
And I know
That my eyes believe
That my thoughts belong to no one else but you
It's all you
I stayed alive for promised love
Did you find love away from pain?
And I know it was a long wait to be alone under your name
You did what you could to stay aground
You did what you could to stay aground
Things have come
And go yet again
But I, I have longed to touch you
I've stayed alive for promised love
And now you found love away from pain
And I know it was a long wait to be alone under your name
I'm thanking your god you're still alive
Thank you God she's still alright
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There are times when I want to stray
All night. All day
Oh, I never once believed in one faith
And now is a tad too late
Did you ever wonder, perhaps we're all crazed, just in different ways?
But I hear that you're coming back tomorrow
And I know I will be somewhere higher
Where I feel something deeper
I have been waiting here for you
There will always be lies and truths untold
And yes, you will never really know
Isn't it such a wonder that this sadness is divine
It's a sense you won't find
The sun is setting low
It's tired and for you
There's a promise of a better day
Yeah, I hear that you're coming back tomorrow
And I know I will be somewhere higher
Where I feel something deeper
I have been waiting here for you
Yeah, I hear that you're coming back tomorrow
And I know I will be somewhere higher
Where I feel something deeper
I have been waiting here for you
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Sitting in a lonely room
In a nearby fire
I bid
They may have escaped
Or may have scraped
But I know she likes it when anything gets
Laid back
Enjoy your view
Your sadness will ride by me somehow
It is taking a while for you to breathe
I've been taken for a story told
Left unheard
Echoed out
Oh, don't you see?
There's nothing for me
I'll fall apart
Lay back
Enjoy your view
Don't let it remind you that I was once your own
What would you have liked me to be?
Lay back
Enjoy your view
Don't let it remind you that I was once your own
It's been taking a while for me to breathe
Won't you have minded it
It has to be
Won't you have asked for me to stay?
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Watching them living
And I'm asking
"Yes, what have I done?"
Because I feel that I'm slipping away
Just watching the water go by
I believe that I can do anything
If only I knew what I wanted
But oh, I still need to know
And boy, oh, I need to know soon
Where do I go?
I'm aware I have to forge ahead
Because I cannot afford to lose myself
Because it's all that I have left in me
And he knows what it's not going to be
It's not the end
Just watching the water go by
And I feel that I have just been watching you
All the while then it strikes my mind
That my life is passing by
And right before my very eyes
It's not the end
Just watching the water go by